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An example of fertility affirmations oracle cards and square images for social media sharing. The quotes on the images help foster a positive mindset while trying to conceive and going through difficulties and IVF IUI ICSI assisted conception

Fertility affirmations and how they can help

When I was first trying to get pregnant, full of hope and sure that everything was going to be fine, I read so much stuff about what to do to increase our chances naturally.

I ticked off the top ten tips to get pregnant naturally:

✅Maintain a healthy diet

✅Stay active

✅Manage stress

✅Get enough sleep

✅Limit alcohol intake

✅Quit/don't start smoking

✅Maintain a healthy weight

✅Track your menstrual cycle

✅Take a multivitamin

✅Stay positive

But the thing is:

once you've consistently done 1 to 9 it's really difficult to 'stay positive' so what difference was that going to make?!

The truth is, for us, it made no difference at all.

My husband has azoospermia so no amount of positive thinking was going to magic up the coveted ingredient: sperm.

When we got his diagnosis, however, it was a turning point in our journey. I can remember the physical stress leaving my body - we finally had a plan that had a chance of working, albeit a slim one.

When facing treatment, for me anyway, it was like a blank slate. Whatever had happened up until then didn't matter, because now we were having treatment (mTESE then ICSI) and this was our fresh chance to become parents.

At that point, I did a full mental 'stock take' and a total refresh of my thinking.

Everything that I had been thinking up to that point was no longer relevant, but how could I stop myself from constantly thinking it?

I'd been so used to the mental doom and gloom (I'll never get pregnant; if it's not happened yet it won't ever happen; what difference is this new multivitamin going to make if it didn't make a difference so far; this is not meant to be...).

But turning those negative self talk patterns around really helped me focus on the here and now, the fresh start that was provided to us through the magic of assisted conception.

And cultivating that positive mindset and maintaining hope throughout each cycle really did help reduce my anxiety and increase my optimism.

Even when I went through that first failed IVF cycle, there was still that optimism there.

By training my mind to turn around the negative self talk I bounced back from that first failed cycle a lot quicker than I would've done had I been convincing myself the whole time that it was never going to work.

So how can you turn around your negative self talk?

1️⃣Do your 'stock take' on what you've been telling yourself so far (e.g. it's never going to work)

2️⃣Think about what this statement could become. And know that it's got to be believable - i.e. a statement for me like 'I'm going to get pregnant naturally' would just not have been believable for me, so instead maybe something like 'I have hope for this cycle'.

3️⃣Repeat this new mantra until you can really feel it in your bones.

4️⃣Check-in with yourself to see how this makes you feel.

5️⃣Repeat this process any time you hear negative self-talk wade in.

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I sell an Oracle deck with 22 affirmations specifically created for people who are struggling to conceive and/or who may have gone through failed IVF attempts. I hope these affirmations help in difficult times.

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